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Chapter 9 – Avoiding the enemy by all means, Part 1

Avoiding the enemy by all means.

Lu Wushuang was frightened at this moment in time, when she heard him ask such a stupid question she angrily said, “Sha Dan! What the hell are you talking about?”

Yang Guo laughed and said, “Let’s play bride and groom. Why don’t you pretend to be a bride? Won’t that be beautiful? With a red veil covering your face, when people look they won’t see your face.”

Lu Wushuang was startled and said, “You’re instructing me to pretend to be a bride to avoid my master?”

Yang Guo laughed and said, “I don’t know, you pretend to be a bride and I’ll be the groom.”

This was an urgent matter, Lu Wushuang had no time to scold him, she thought, “Sha Dan’s idea is a strange one, but apart from this idea, there’s nothing else.” She asked, “How should we do it?”

Yang Guo didn’t want to waste time, he lashed the donkey and it hurried forward. The small roads of the countryside were tight and narrow, with eight people carrying the sedan chair lining up along the road; the two groups had nowhere to pass. When the people saw the donkey charging forward they all shouted, telling the riders to rein it in and slow down. Yang Guo squeezed his legs, and urged the donkey to go even faster, in a flash it had come up to the crowd. Two strong men had earlier stepped up wanting to pull the donkey back so that it won’t knock into the sedan chair. Yang Guo’s rope lashed out and wrapped around the two men’s arms, he raised his arm and let go, the two men fell onto the ground. He turned around to Lu Wushuang and said, “I want to be a groom.” He leaned forward and stretched out his hand to grab the groom who was riding on a white horse. The groom was about seventeen or eighteen years of age, he was fitted out with new clothes and with gold flowers on his head; the sudden grab by Yang Guo frightened him. Yang Guo lifted his body and flung him up, his body flew up over a distance of ten feet, when he was about to land, the people shouted and called out, stretching out their arms to catch him. There were about thirty people who were helping to celebrate, half of them were tall strong men of Guanxi but when they saw his skills and the groom in his hands, how did they dare attack? An experienced old man dashed up; thinking it was bandits, he said, “Please spare the groom Da Wang (king). The amount of money that Da Wang wants, we can discuss it.”

Yang Guo turned around to Lu Wushuang and said, “Wifey, why are they calling me Da Wang? My surname is Da? I think he’s even more stupid than me.”

Lu Wushuang said, “Don’t waste time, I think I can hear the bell of my master’s donkey.”

Yang Guo was startled, he listened carefully, and indeed he could hear a faint ringing sound. He thought, “She’s quick.” He then said, “Ling Zi (Bell) What Ling Zi? It’s a sweets seller? Great, let’s buy some sweets to eat.” He turned around to the old man and said, “If you listen to my instructions then I’ll let you go, otherwise” he lifted up the groom and threw him up in the air. The groom was so frightened that he began to cry. The old man made a bow and said, “We’ll do as Da Wang instructs.”

Yang Guo pointed to Lu Wushuang and said, “That’s my little Wifey, when she saw that someone was getting married she thought that it was amusing, she herself wants to take part too.”

Lu Wushuang scolded, “Sha Dan, what did you say?”

Yang Guo ignored her and said, “Quickly take the bride’s clothes and put them on her, I’ll be the groom.”

It’s not unusual for kids to pretend to be a bride and groom. But who would think that a bandit on a narrow road would suddenly want to play this game? The people all looked at each other in dismay, and refused. Looking at the two, one was a young man, the other was a young girl, and one could describe them as a married couple. But the crowd of people didn’t care. Yang Guo heard the ringing of the bell getting closer so he leapt off the donkey and placed the groom on the saddle letting Lu Wushuang guard him and went over to the sedan chair, he pushed aside the curtain and pulled the bride out. The bride screeched out in fright, her face was covered with a red veil and didn’t know what was happening outside. Yang Guo brushed aside her red veil and saw a face like the moon, a face full of joy. He laughed and said, “The bride is beautiful.” He lightly touched her cheek. The bride froze in fright and didn’t make a sound.

Yang Guo’s left hand held up the bride and called out, “If you want me to spare her, quickly take her clothes and give them to my Wifey to wear.”

Lu Wushuang heard the ringing of her master’s donkey getting closer, she gave him a stare and thought, “That Sha Dan doesn’t know how high the sky is or how deep the earth is and his mouth is still joking at this time?” She heard the old man following his instructions, “Quick, quick! Quickly change the bride’s clothes.” The nanny accompanying the bride quickly took off her phoenix headdress and her bridal costume and dressed Lu Wushuang with them. Taking off the groom’s costume, Yang Guo changed himself. He turned around to Lu Wushuang and said, “Good Wifey, enter the sedan chair.” Lu Wushuang told the bride to enter the sedan chair first and then she entered, lowering the curtain afterwards.

Yang Guo took a look at his grass shoes and wanted to change them when he heard the ringing sound from just around the bend in the road, he called out, “Turn around and head in a southeast direction, quickly! If someone comes and asks about us don’t say you’ve seen us.” He leapt onto the white horse and rode along with the groom on the donkey. When the crowd saw the couple had fallen into their hands, they didn’t dare to disobey; they raised their gongs and cymbals and started their tune.

The sedan chair was picked up and turned around but after about a hundred feet, the ringing sound was becoming quicker, two donkeys trotted after them. Lu Wushuang was thinking about whether she would be able to escape from this danger and heard the now much closer ringing sound; her heart jumped and she carefully listened to the activities of outside.

Yang Guo pretended to be embarrassed and lowered his head looking at the horse’s neck. He heard Hong Lingbo call out, “Hey, have you seen a lame girl walking past here?”

The old man from the crowd called out, “No…no…”

Hong Lingbo asked again, “Have you seen a girl on an animal pass by?”

The old man said, “No.” The two passed the crowd and rushed on by. After a short while the two pulled the donkeys around and returned. Li Mochou’s fly whisk flew out and wrapped around the sedan chair curtain, she pulled back and after a ‘chi’ sound, the curtain ripped in half. Yang Guo was alarmed and rushed forward, as soon as the fly whisk comes out a second time he will make his move and rescue her. He didn’t know that after one look in the sedan chair, Li Mochou would smile and say, “The bride is handsome.” She raised her head and said to Yang Guo, “Little punk, your luck isn’t bad.”

Yang Guo lowered his head not daring to face her, but heard them trotting away.

Yang Guo wondered, “Why did she spare Miss Lu?” He opened the sedan chair curtain only to see the bride scared out of her wits, and Lu Wushuang had disappeared. Yang Guo was even more baffled and called out, “Ai Ya, where’s my Wifey gone?”